An Over-Active Car Alarm: How Anxiety Moves from Helpful to Unhelpful

Imagine your brain is a car …

… inbuilt with a security system designed to protect you from threat, and warn you about any signs of danger.

The car alarm is helpful - it warns you if someone tries to break into your car, tries to steal the car from you, or even tries to open it without you knowing. A big blaring alarm goes off, and you’re able to investigate the threat.

However, sometimes our car alarms can become over-active and scan for threats that aren’t there. Maybe your car alarm goes off when there’s a big gust of wind, and a leaf sets it off. This is when our threat system can become unhelpful.

So how does this relate to anxiety?

When our brains perceive a threat, it automatically activates the Fight/Flight/Freeze response aka the ‘car alarm’. This response is helpful and protective, as it keeps us safe from danger by activating physiological changes in the body to help us respond quickly. This results in things like an increase in heart rate, shutting down digestion, and flooding your body with cortisol and adrenaline. It prepares us to fight, fly (run away), or freeze. In some families or cultures, the alarm was set to 'High' to keep us safe in a world that felt unpredictable. You might have inherited a sensitive alarm system as a survival strategy.

However, it can be unhelpful when your brain is over-active and hypervigilant to threat that is not dangerous.

This can lead to unhelpful anxiety symptoms such as:

• Racing heart

• Shallow breathing

• Feeling panicky

• Muscle tension

• Overthinking

• Nausea

• Stomache and health issues

Unhelpful anxiety can lead to avoidance and safety behaviours, which reinforce the anxiety.

• Avoidance: Doing things to stop the alarm from triggering, e.g., keeping the car in the garage or not driving!

• Safety behaviours: Things that we do to prevent the alarm from going off, e.g. monitoring - “Has my alarm gone off in awhile?”, reassurance seeking - “Have you heard my alarm go off?”. In relationships, this might look like 'text-checking' or over-preparing for a conversation to make sure nobody gets upset."

So where to from here? We can focus together on recalibrating your nervous system so that it responds accurately to threat.

How can I re-calibrate my nervous system?

Lowering the noise | Self-soothing and the Parasympathetic Nervous System

Luckily, our bodies are already equipped with the antidote - the Parasympathetic Nervous System. Once activated, our ‘rest and digest’ response tells the brain and body that we’re not in danger and calms our physiological symptoms by:

• Slowing down the heart rate

• Taking deeper breaths

• Returning blood flow to the digestive system

• Reducing muscle tension

Activating a self-soothing response

When our nervous system is activated, we need a ‘Bottom-Up’ approach to soothe the nervous system.

Different techniques work for different people, some things you can try:

• Deep breathing: Try the Hand Tracing breathing technique. Place one hand in front of you, and using the pointer finger from your other hand, trace from your wrist, up and down your fingers. As you trace upwards, breathe in, and downwards, breathe out.

  • Tip: Aim to have your exhale longer than your inhale.

• Grounding: Name 5 things you can see in your environment.

• Sensory modulation via temperature: Splash some cold water on your face, grab an ice pack and hold it to your cheeks for 30 seconds, or have a glass of cold water.

• Movement: Go for a walk to help release the tension.

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Checking my thinking | Asking Wise Mind

In DBT, we talk about Wise Mind. This is the overlap between your Emotional Mind (the part that feels the anxiety), and your Logical Mind (that knows the facts).

Ask your Wise Mind, “What is really going on here?”

For example:

The Emotional Mind says: "My partner hasn't replied; the alarm is screaming that they are leaving me!"
The Logical Mind says: "They are at a meeting until 5:00 PM."
Wise Mind says: "I feel anxious because I value this connection, but I don't need to check my phone every 2 minutes to be safe. I can use my hand-tracing breath instead."

Where to next?

Do you relate to this? If you feel like your car alarm has been stuck on 'high alert,' you don't have to navigate it alone.

Let’s chat together and understand:

• How your nervous system became over-active

• Explore personalised strategies to help you recalibrate

• Understand your Wise Mind and thinking patterns

Questions? Send me an enquiry.

Interested in exploring more? Book an appointment.